Entry tags:

calling in a debt, fanfic, harry potter, hp/ss

HP: Calling in a Debt 6/16
Disclaimers: Neither the idea of Harry Potter nor the characters belong to me in any way. They are the sole property of JKR. I do not make any money of this story either.

A big thanks to all my betas: Allzugern, Amber, Christine Pierson, darkmoore, and munchkinofdoom.

Chapter 6 - Chilled

Sneering in a menacing way Severus stepped closer to Harry. He barely towered over the younger man, Harry’s nose reached to Severus’ chin now. If the boy did not stop growing they would be of the same height soon. “Did you at least have fun? To touch me and to use me? And here I was, thinking that my dignity would be resting well in your hands.”

There had been similar outbursts over the past months. Harry trying to make amends and Severus painfully reminding him of his mistakes. Since he had found out about Harry’s nightly forays into his bed, Severus had not stopped needling, harassing and ridiculing him. Up to this point the Potion Master had derived a high amount of satisfaction from this. After milking the situation for half a year it ceased to satisfy him. Having denied the little bastard his easy way out, Severus had shadowed him, annoying him endlessly. Sarcasm, sneers, glares and presence could be formidable weapons and Severus Snape wielded them with a vengeance.

He had given Harry no room to retreat and made it abundantly clear that he would only be alone for sleep and personal hygiene. In the days the younger wizard had withdrawn and hidden, Severus had figured out, that the best way to punish his husband was to let him do most of the work.

Needless to say that this had worked like a charm. They had even started to argue, it had been the first time Severus had felt secure enough in his position to do this. No longer had he been bound by his position as Harry’s consort. The younger man had given him back a hold over his own life.

Hence the whole situation had come up over and over again and as of yet Harry had borne it well, not retaliating, just accepting it. But tonight, Harry’s eyes were glowing with a fire, showing that he had finally lost his patience. “It’s been months, Severus, why can’t you just deck me and be done with it. Then we can end this whole farce and each of us goes their own way.” The heat in his eyes did not carry over into his voice. “I’ve been telling you that I am sorry. At least once a day if not more often. I know it’s inexcusable, but I did offer you to dissolve the contract. You were the one who declined.” He stepped back and opened his bedroom door.

“You deserve everything I’m doing to you, Potter.” His growl was low, but not low enough for the other man to overhear it.

Harry looked at him, defeated. His expression was empty, almost as empty as his voice, “Yes, I know.” With that he closed the door behind him.

Severus was left standing in the hall, indecisive as to where to go now. The young man’s acceptance of the situation surprised him for the first time. Six months. Severus had been doing this for half a year now. He had forced Harry into the position of his assistant at Hogwarts and worked him hard in addition to every cruelty that came to his mind.

While he had enjoyed every little bit of it, his delight had soured and now it was starting to be hard work to keep it up. Maybe the time had come to find some kind of balance between himself and his husband. Maybe he could even as how Harry had pulled it off. The Slytherin within Severus longed to know, but hurt pride had prevented him from asking.

Having rejected the offer of dissolving the marriage not only once, but half a dozen times over the last six months it never even came to him to go and ask. This way he could make Potter’s life miserable for an additional year. All in all it was due payment for making Severus’ life distressingly uncomfortable not only during his school-time, but also as payment for the way in which he was pressed into marriage.

Now he found that ... he did no longer want to torture Harry. The revelation had come to him in the shocking moment of silence after the younger wizard had closed the door. He was still standing there, staring at it, lost as to what to do now. He turned around, feeling dazed. But his feet surely enough found his bedroom. Closing the door between himself and the hall felt like putting up walls to protect him from the thoughts that had sneaked up on him outside.

He had spent the last months not thinking, burrowing in the pain and disappointment as best as he could. Even not thinking, he still missed the talks he had shared with Harry, something fierce. As the end of the school year approached he was contemplating going back to their house and he dreaded the condition his garden would be in. *His* garden. It had taken him days to come to terms with that titbit his brain had managed to conjure, the puny space of greenery his. But it was. He had spent days out there, tending to the plants and he had found a peace in it he had never felt while being alone in his dungeons.

Feeling the sturdy wooden door in his back made the whole situation seem more substantial. “What is happening to me?” His own thoughts were betraying him now. He pushed away from his support, giving himself momentum enough to reach the bed without using much energy. Maybe he should really take Harry up on the dissolution of their contract. In Severus’ opinion a husband-consort relationship was neither healthy nor happy. It was a case of too much power one partner had over the other. Especially in long-time marriages this had proved to be a stumbling block.

Some old pure-blood families kept doing this. They deemed it to be the only way a good marriage could be led. The partner from the more powerful family as husband, the other one as consort. His own parents had been living in one of those self-destructing partnerships. The children were the ones suffering most from it. Both of them had loved him to bits, would have given their life for him to save him from the world. His mother was utterly devoted to him and his father had been so proud of his accomplishments that he seemed to glow sometimes. He would have ripped anyone to pieces who dared to touch his son inappropriately.

They had been so unhappy with each other. A complete mismatch, the couple had withered away in front of the very eyes of their son and their families. Severus had not been enough to keep them alive, a brood would have not been enough to keep those two from killing each other.

His grandparents had been far less loving. They had taken him in after his parents had chosen to end their misery. Instead of spending a lifetime living together they had chosen to leave him when he needed them most. His father’s parents had hated him, told him it had been his fault and that his parents had only started bickering after he had been born. The liars.

“At least we don’t have any children.”

He had muttered that out loud before he even realised it. It almost made him jump. Paling considerably he went to the bathroom. The mirror was mercifully silent as he leaned against the wash-basin and turned on the cold water. “Where did that come from?” He splashed his face with the water and then looked at himself in the mirror. What had happened to him in his life had prematurely aged him. His skin a sick pale, deep lines on his face and an icy expression in his eyes. He knew he was not attractive.

“Why doesn’t he just leave?” Why indeed. Harry could have left numerous times, hiding out somewhere until the contract ran out. He could have gone to the Weasleys or hidden behind the Granger girl’s skirts. Fact was Harry was still here. Accepting the punishment Severus had decided on, with an eerie passivity. Sometimes he wanted to scream at him to fight back. To make him retaliate, to finally defy him. He wanted the fire back.

Cold water dripped down his chin while he was slowly making his way back to the bed and flung himself onto it. His thoughts made a full circle and came back to the question he had been asking himself since before the bonding ceremony. Why were they married in the first place? If this was some kind of joke or punishment for the way he had treated Harry while the boy was still in school, then he did not understand the nightly visits or the way he stuck around at all. It did not answer the question. Why?

“I can’t just go ask him,” he muttered to himself. “It would be too degrading.” Bemoaning his fate to his empty room had been the only way to keep him sane at some points in his past and he had not thought it would come down to this again. He sighed deeply once before he got up and went to his working desk. There was nothing better to do when in a bad mood than grading essays.

***

“Harry, we need to talk.”

He almost jumped. We need to talk. The most scary words in any language. “Talk? Okay. Go on then.” Severus had not surprised him since he had reverted to his nasty Potion Master self. Raising his eyes from the plate in front of him, he looked at his consort, something he had avoided doing for a long time now. Usually this sort of thing upset Severus beyond understanding and got out of hand completely in the form of long, loud and embarrassing rows. Today all that happened was that Severus looked back. He looked tired, and sick. A sense of worry rose in Harry.

“I want to go back to our house at the end of the year.” Severus was playing with his napkin, looking intently at his own plate with a frown. His voice was without emotion and the way he sat made it look like he expected a retaliation of some sort.

Nodding once, Harry acknowledged his words, then added, “As you wish. I will ask Dobby to pack everything we need. Are you quite alright, Severus? You look sick. Maybe you should go to Poppy and have her take a look.” For a second Severus’ eyes became wide with wonder. At what, Harry could not say. “It would not do for you to come down with something while we’re in the house with no easy access for a medi-wizard.”

“I’m fine, Harry. Just not enough sleep.” He rose from his chair and turned to leave, then stopped half-way to the door to look back at him, “I think we should agree on a truce for the next year. It would be better for both of us.” With that he turned and left.

Staring after him speechlessly, Harry reached for his glass of orange juice and downed it in one long swallow. His throat had dried out and he felt parched all of a sudden. “Truce?” Severus wanted a truce? Instead of an annulment of their contract?

“Wonders never cease.”